Fashion Faux Pas

Fashion Faux Pas

Noticable from afar because you’re dressed like a star and the way you turn heads slows the buses and the cars
I really like your jacket did you get it tailor made? It looks like you chose the finest tailor in the trade
And looking at your shirt beneath I can see that it is gleaming, the suit that you have on must have come straight from the dry cleaning

Moving south of your person I can see that somethings wrong
and I can only fool myself for so long
There they are lurking beneath your marks and sparks socks
I wish my eyes were failing me, but your wearing fucking Crocs.

Strutting down the street as if you’re the bees knees,
and its not my place to stop you, you can do as you please
but where the fuck did something in your brain just completely fail
when deliberating in the shoe shop at the clearance sale ?
The ‘fashion page’ you saw them on must have been the daily mail
re-enforcing the image of the fat middle-aged female


Take the weight off your feet? stop you getting hot and bothered?
don't idolise Kerry Katona or any other stupid boggers!
yet most shit celebrities have tried them at one stage or another
...even Mr Bush has stuffed his foot into the rubber.

Don't buy them they’re disgusting, they’re repulsive and grotesque!
If you want an easy ride in life give buying them a rest!
I don't care if they come in all the colours of the rainbow
when you wear them, you look shit and annoying and you move slow.

And its the ugly little charms
that cause more visual harm
to the unlucky passers by
who cannot believe their eyes

So next time you go into a Footlocker near you,
stay away from the section that smells like poo
do yourself a favour and really think it through
before you choose to wear such a hideous excuse for a shoe