London life

So Christmas is over and this year was AMAZING. Santa even came into our room and left a stocking for both Sam and I. We hardly slept and woke up at about 6am and then counted down until 7am, deciding it would be too early to realistically get up!
Sam was so excited all day, and the family came home at about 11am to begin the present unwrapping and jokes.

I moved to Sams about ten days before christmas because the move to Cornwall didn't work out due to my mother being a complete twat again. Calling the police on me and hurling abuse for irrational reasons and generally making me feel like shit. Also the job scene down there is unreal, and hanging out at the job centre which STINKS, having few friends remaining down there, one parent (dad who was great and highly enjoyed my cooking) and no way of getting around, or way to go surfing, was getting pretty dire. Also being away from Sam, who was living in London, was rubbish.

I got some keys to the house in my stocking and some bike thermals and some drawing stuff, chocolate money, three records on vinyl, a photo frame of me and Sam, a new phone, an electric toothbrush and me and Sam made each other the exact same joke tshirt! saying I <3 BOP except I did mine using a transfer and it came out in reverse, but it's ok.

I am missing my friends quite a lot and feeling a bit dependent, which I can't stand but haven't a lot of choice. However it is new years eve soon and we're hoping to go to Brighton and see some people then.

Have been applying for jobs and did a bit of work at Earls court for a deadmau5 concert but it was reaaaaaaly busy and the bar was under stocked with things such as bottle openers which was pretty annoying but overal it was a good experience. nightmare getting home though because of the 'adverse weather' so all the trains were pretty fucked.

Read a book called 'the book of tomorrow' which was alright and am on Harry Potter now after watching one of the films and wanting to complete the story, really need to know whose side Snape is on! wtf! Also reading a book called French women don't get fat which teaches the principle of eating quality of quantity (standard) and savouring every mouthful and using your head. It is great because it's not really a diet book, just a good philosophy in that you can have anything you want; nothing is forbidden, you just have to choose your moment and really enjoy it when you do.

Made some tasty dinner last night: mixed beans, mixed lentils and soya mince chilli with peppers and green beans. A colourful, spicy tomato rich bowl of health after all the xmas fat.

Also dont think I can take alcohol anymore!!! was sick the other night (although did down a pint of red wine in a drinking game) but am never sick! think the last time was in Spain hahaaa. I miss the summer. Saw Paul recently in Whitechapel which was nice and hope to see Liam soon. the TWIT.

It is Sams birthday next week so gotta start thinking up desert ideas for the king of cream. A birthday cake I think or maybe another massive pavolva. Made dad a strawberry and rasberry pavlova recently so have practised a bit more and know that the egg whites DO NOT LIKE ELECTRIC MIXERS. slow and steady wins the race (and breaks your arm)

Sams says I should write a cook book. I have written some songs and then recorded them really shitly on a camera and then made a video on movie maker and then uploaded it to facebook then got a load of good feedback then uploaded it onto musicalcomedy.co.uk who told me I would stand a good chance at the comedy awards, then got an email saying I am through to the live heats in Islington and now I have to sort out 8 minutes of live performance and dont really know how or where to start!!!!!! only have a laptop backing track sourced by you tube and that's hardly reliable or good quality. I am hoping someone can help me.

Today I want to exercise, I feel kinda trapped in London because you are surrounded by buildings, there is no sea or green areas in the distance which is SO WEIRD. I see the sea as an opening, almost an escape route or at least a great body of tranquillity to assist you when feeling too cluttered in the mind. I'm feeling quite cluttered. I just want to go to France I don't want to work in a telesales job. I have a possible start date in a telesales job (recruitment consultant) in Mayfair in early January, which I will probably take because I just need to start earning but i can see it being quite soul destroying too.

I think i am going to go into central London today and just wonder and explore and try to gain some more bearings as I feel pretty new to it all still up here. maybe go and sit in a park if the weather stays dry.

Work

Now I've done my degree, it's all down to me, to aspire to the top of a company
that employ hard workers with good communications, self-motivated and patient with good customer relations
I really cant wait to get my own phone station, and telephone the innocent to push my information

Good afternoon my names miss Give-a-fuck Smith, Im calling on behalf of long shore drift,
I'd in fact rather be throwing myself off a cliff, than establishing fake rapport with a stranger like a biff
and I know it will result in an eventual tiff between myself and the victim who I've been chatting with,

But for the rate of pay, and the varied hours per day, and the ability to find a way of getting trashed with no delay after the clock strikes nine, when the phoneroom knows it's time to hang up on the line, have a good stretch of
your spine and go home to the wine that is going to all be mine.


Miss Smith we'd like a word, I don't know if you've heard, but the targets that we are setting are only being met by a third
of the people we employ, and we dont like to annoy but your performance is rather coy.

Now, the phone is not a toy,
and we know we've already said it, but we need more direct debits from the customers you phone to inform them of our drone, in their own home, during their quality time alone.
So please pick up your pace, remember that its a race between everyone in this space, so start upping your contact rate or we'll set fire to your face.

Im so glad I went to uni and have got the skills that I need, to join the work opportunities that the UK offers me

At least I wont ever earn enough to pay back my loans, because it's ridiculous to practise living with a heart made of stone.

Charity Fundraiser

Ok so today I went to my 7 hour first day of training at Pure. Facing the Scottish granny and surrounded by a sea of a) Iceland mum's who are so ignorant they actually beleive it to be a good job. b) Students and other lost souls who are obviously in need of some direction and money C) random others including foreigners and bullshitters who have done the job before at another company.

The scottish granny speaks with such a drone, and a combination of her tone and tactical pausing and the bright lights overhead was sending me to sleep in the second half. The first half I was kept awake by the sounds of my stomach rumbling. Lunch couldn't have come sooner. I sat outside in the rain just for the contrast haha. They try to make it seem like you are working for an ethical cause, fundraising for charities, but in reality its basically disturbing people at home, sometimes even on their mobiles and sometimes when they are on holiday! saying very nicely that their donation is NOT ENOUGH and that they need to increase their 'gift' and set up a bitch ass direct debit. AS if all the money they give even goes to the charity. She even mentioned all the swish offices and company cars they need to take out before the charity gets the rest for it's 'research'. Ah I think i'm definately going to feel the pain here. Got a week to do anyway or else I won't get paid for the dry training or anything. Booked in 33 hours hahaaaa super challenge, 10 hours a day for the first three days. I drew a picture of the granny towards the end of the session because I couldn't hold the image of her face in my head for any longer; transference seemed the only option. I'm going for a run...

So last night i went back to the hostel and chilled with my matey, some fat bulgarian man who does nothing but sit on his laptop, and he gave me fruityloops and adobe audition which is sick. He also showed me a song he had written and we shared a beer and he charged my mp3 player. Safe. Today i slept for a thousand years then went into town spent the world and then went for Tapas upstairs in a dodgy ass bar and was the only girl in their and got chatted up by some Italians who kept holding my hand as i was trying to east my fish and mushrooms haha

Cant wait to see Sam. Can't wait to get out of this heat, every day is a rolled up tshirt sweat job haha

graffitid on the wall of the hostel. Jenna Sam 2010 and then did a spesh english summer one. 'English Summer? Beese or Gees? Tuna Salad? me too! 10.08.10' haha some lucky winner should see that one day.

BARCELONAAA I LOVE YOU!

Adieu

Barcelona

So last night me and paul had some for the road and then entered a taxi to take us to our hostels and PANANMERICANO came on. WIN. I fell asleep and slept for a thousand years (no friendly spindles involved Liam)

Today got up and sweated my way to the Picasso museum and was greeted by a queue which was a mile long but it was cool because the man behind me decided to be friends. He was from Argentina and spoke a bit of english and I am from England and speak un poco de espanol so together we were able to appreciate the gallery together and the museum was so amazing. His early sketches through his blue period through his rose period towards all his crazy divisionist stuff. He offered to get me lunch but i had a bicycle tour to get to so declined and went to find it. Failed and just walked around for a bit, bought a mojito, watched the world go by, walked a bit more, got lost, walked a bit more, went back to my hostel to freshen and went to meet Paul for a FINAL one for the road cos he went to Madrid tonight to meet HEATHARRRRRR. (she loves teeth)

After that i went to Maoz and hung out with the vegetarians, watched some street art, watched some siiiick breakdancers. Gave loads of money to various buskers throughout the day, hazardously went down a hundred steps for the metro all day long and wondered HOW the time can be sponsored (by accurist)?!

My Argentinian friend, Gastrom, told me there is a Dali gallery about an hour away on the train so i might check that out tomorro or the next day.

Im back in the hostel now jamming on some guys laptop, its so friendly here i love it. Loads of Italians heading out to the beach to get wasted tonight but im gonna stay in because i owe my liver some mercy! always tomorrow!

big up the city lights. Going all arty on yo ass this season

Leaving english summer

Ok so we packed up all our stuff and waited for simon to arrive, thinking he would be standardly late. He arrived and HURRIED us into the Van which he was revving whilst we were saying our tragic heartfelt heartRIPPING goodbyes to our family for the last fucking 6 weeks. He then nearly DROVE OFF without tristan/running him over.

So we descended down the mountain (1000ft) of WINDING ROADS literally seriously curlywurly and he ROOOOOOSTED it. Like 120mph the whole way. We braced ourselves for our lives around every corner, our suitcases were having a party in the back swinging all over the place breaking every valuable and our stomachs were like GET FUCKED SIMON.

We arrived in Lespluga and Paul vomited into a nearby bush which he described as 'fanta coloured sick'. Notice how we cannot even describe things without using English Summer themed points of reference. How will we survive the normal world?

We got to Tarragona on the train and found a dutty place to eat with chubby porn on the table so left and found a place where the air BURNS YOUR EYES. I ordered what i thought would be a nice prawn fresh salad type thing and the others got pizzas and pasta and when it arrived it was a bowl of OIL.

We raaaaan to the train station and nearly missed our train to Barcelona and in the process didnt manage a proper goodbye to Dearbhla, it was a blown kiss accross the platforms. Fail. Starting to think we are in a film now.

We, me paul and tristan (lets go eagles lets go) got on the train to Barcelona and caught some sleep, and then...

As we got off the train Tristan panicked, realising he didnt have his wallet. SO, he ran back onto the train to see if he'd left it. After realising it wasnt on the train he proceeded to EMPTY his ENTIRE bag out on the train while the train was waiting to leave, Me and paul were like shit shit shit tristan get off the fucking train and he was just like no i havent looked properly. So paul and I were like shit Tristan quick but he was just standing in despair with all his stuff around him and then the doors closed and the train slipped off. The look of sheer defeat sweeping his wee face was a picture. WE are definately in a film now where one by one they cant survive outside the camp and slowly die off. We motioned to him to call us, but neither of us have phones. Fail

THEN

we had to find my hostel so we referred to the directions Vic had given us (get to a certain metro station) and so we did and then tried to find the address. After about 30 mins of walking backwards and forwards and up and down and around and in and out and shaking it all about we asked a thousand passers by some girl finally said round the corner the first door. No sign. Nothing. NO SIGN NOTHING. the only sign of the existence of the hostel was a faded label over the top of a fucking DOORBELL.

SO we got in and it was on first impressions, interesting. dirty as hell but whatever and a sweaty man walked past.

ALl good tho, but we were in a proper desolate part of the city where it looked like something newsworthy had happened and everyone had left. We got to a place called placa del glorious catalans or something and it was pretty much a GRAVEYARDESQUE playpark

Then we wandered around into town and down La Rambla and found the AMAZING VEGAN ALL YOU CAN EAT MAOZ!!!! still there, the best place in the world and more rainbow food all for 5 euros. Then there was a fruit market and amaaaaazing sweet and we bought smoothies and then we went to the placa where i stayed in 2007 and looked and its so cool being back there and then we went to a BLADE SHOP hahaha with CHAINMAIL Suits and i wanted to buy one for Sam but they were priiiice. They also sold vegetable peelers and corkscrews for the low budget wannabe stabber.

Then, epic hostel adventure part 2...

We asked a man in a hostel for a room for Paul and he said no but pointed to a circle on a map and said go here. SO we spent about 4 hours trying to find this circle on the map like total fassios. Paul keeps saying safe and i am proud. We finally found an amaaaazing hostel for him right in the centre and really cool and really cheap and it incudes breakfast. I tried to buy a camera but the flash doesnt work. Fail.

a man called MOZZIE came up to us and said (in an austrailian accent) hey guys is that tinge in your hair intentional? to paul and then asked what we were doing tonight and we were a bit like erm and then he was trying to sell a bar crawl to us but none of that. WE are having a thousand for OUR road on OUR own because WE DONT LIKE STRANGERS WE ARE FROM PRADES. It is SO weird being out of English Summer. Earlier i saw a makeup stand. AND a McDonalds Sign. But everything keeps slipping back to English summer, like Prada is now called Prades unintentionally and we have literally a thousand froggy dollars on us that we are splashing and spunking like it's froggy's birthday!


Now we are sat in the bar of Pauls hostel and we have sangria and it is all good. But we havent heard pananmericana today OR waka waka OR alive and we are going a big mad.

hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

superjokes

BARCELONA"!" sick

Laters

Hi there oh my god last night

CLAIRE walked, i say walked, made her way to Prades lIKE WOBBLEGIRL all the way until she failed and went into all of the bushes and sicked everywhere and had to be escorted home back to VICTORIAS BED WHICH SHE SICKED ALL OVER EVERWHERE. Will ya get awee wid yaself and i changed the shitty sicky pissy sheets

PAUL cant open his eyes they are two red SLITS

I am taking a bag of WET washing to barcelona which i have No idea how to get to my hostel and a hangover of DEATH and have to drag slitfaced Paul around with me who is a drunken irish mess hahaha and hasnt even got a hostel and wants to sleep on the street and get pickpocketed all night. We have to be READY to depart, say a thousand TERRIBLE traumatic goodbyes leave the place which has been home for the past 6 weeks and ENTER CIVILIZATION. What is that? how do you WORK A METRO how how how i need to PACK all my stuff and get in a car with shadow of doubt smile and look at his smile for an hour haaaaa

GOODBYE ENGLISH SUMMER SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!!!

to the people who are staying: may god have mercy on your souls ;)big love miss me and thanks for being hilaaare

a husky voice steps in with an air of irishness. who is she? where did she come from? frankly it doesnt matter because the identity has been stolen by english summer where i have been suckered into doing a fourth term.
last night, in a rare turn of events i was sober. and observing all. other irish lass unfortunately fell in a ditch and vomed all over victorias bed.. the anger will be felt today. and for fuck sake again i had to stop mr liam ( wananawanwan) from getting in a fight with the locals over a cigarette. then got suckered into taking slits home in a shambolic state. to much delight les locals stopped for us and gave us a light. the buzz was limited in this shithole car. there was talk of more drinks in prades. this was rejected. negatory por favour. yo necesito dormir por favor. then mr liam accused me of firstly breaking his fone.. lies. lies man! and when he was caught talkin about questionably gay mp he turned and claimed it was me who wanted a piece of that young ass. granted i have a tendency towards the young but that does not warrant such an accusation.

all is depressing here. jennas leaving. paul is leaving. tristan is leaving. i am leaving .. but returning to this shithole on monday. why? the money? because its certainly not the people. JOKES.

i look like shit and i need to pack. and to be honest im finding it difficult to spell and type and what not.
we will meet again someday. well probably not.

d

OOFF WE POP THEN!

yeah you see what they´ve done is theyhave made this website and theyve got people blogging yeah yeah clever little shits they are

so today jenna is leaving me and i will cry a thousand tears of sorrow inside my shitty litlle membrane of a heart( but on an up note dee is staying)
last nightwas bare jokes its just a shame i cant breather without a lot of pain
i might walk into some suicidy waves to make me feel better
*sighs*
was it playdays or was it playschool?
i will blade and you will sliceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
actually i got slcied last nigth i got cut yeah i got shanked in the fucking face because someone drew a dutty mustache on my batty face yeah do you know me do you know me fASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIO
OMG I CANT RIRW ANYMORE JENNA IS MAKING ME i think i might do a smile with a shadow of dobut behind it jsut like someone we all know and love
if i was a pretty bramaid and i could marry the fasso i want i would marry a *smile woith doubt behind it*
ladst night was jokes beacuse one of the moniors issaura got into a fight with ngie the lkegendary cookie esque coker woman and angiue DASHED A SPOON IN HER FACE and waht was worse was that i was trying to give my award out i mean you dont say anything about my boys

Last night we went to X X X XENON again for the last time. We started off in a bar drinking vodka and water until an audience of men had gathered so we left and went to Xenon. Lots of standard line dancing and trying to speak Spanish and the lipstick on the wall of the toilet is still there haha. Paul beckoned Liam and I outside with a plastic cup and started stabbing through it with Liam´s sharp necklace to make a portable ashtray for his cigarette? it was very odd. I stroked a dog. There was an all night bakery and i bought a full bag of pastries and swung it round.

We woke up at 9.30 today shiiiiiit meeting in 15 minutes still pissed still laughing still had such a fun lesson (it was just revision) and we just made cards and letters to all the other teachers and kids and listened to music and i love my class.

gotta mark the shitting exams now. Dry and Long procedure but after we can sleeeeeep.

bada bada bababa baba baba ba bada bababababa ba ba qui bOOM!

Last night was the Oscars again which was so funny because the term is a lot smaller so we are aware of more of the personalities of the kids and the awards given out were appropriate and funny. Me and Dearbhla have Pablo, who got funniest in school and we also have Nacho who got best body? haha

Yesterday we had a bit of admin to do such as exam making and reports etc so didnt get much free time and seemed to just sleep whenever we did. At least it was sunny, cos monday and sunday was really thundering and lightening and crazy rain and nearly flooded and oh no!

Taught Animals yesterday which is always fun because i ask them to design a new hybrid which is always hilare. We started teaching them a dance to BIlLY JEAN by MJ yesterday too which we´ll continue today. It´s mental trying to organise 30 11yr olds (cos the classes are combined for the theatre activity for the last 3 days of term) who barely understand english but really fun when it works, we luckily have this dude called Victor who can moonwalk and has an MJ hat.

Then we had octopus for lunch.



Today i did the coolest last lesson for them (tomorrow is just revision) we did SENSES so, at first i made them classify whether you can touch taste hear smell or see things like the sea and chocolate and flowers etc,

Then made them a TOUCH box! it was soo cool. I blindfolded them one at a time and put things like a pinecone and a spoon and a feather and a teabag and a balloon inside and one little guy put his hand in and i poured chocolate powder all over it haha they loved it

Then i gave them optical illusions to look at and they were like wow haha and their faces when they were looking at the mind warp thing was so hilare and its crazy how some of them LOVE them and some are like no no i dont like it i dont it haha then i got them to make their own up and pablo combined Pablo and Jenna in a graf type drawing which was so cool.

Also had music playing the whole lesson which they loved.

Do you think its wrong to favouritise one of them because he looks like a mini netsky? :D

going to X X X XENON tonight whoop last time in the dungeon that is!

Tarragona

SO

oh my god where to start?

We boarded the coach which took about an hour to take us to La Fiesta de Léspluga and stepped off to such a cool atmosphere. Two stages, one entertaining loads of ballroom dancing elderly people which was jokes to watch AND join in with. We had some rums there and some shots for the road (the road to XENON) ch ch cha Xenon! and finally stumbled to the hellpit that is. The memory gets pretty blurry from here on in but I know we were definately dancing on the podium to Pananmericana and some girls in the crowd were trying to copy the dance which was cool and made us feel like we werent just wasted English fools but supercool dancers with moves to kill. Then in the toilet I was applying some lipstick and a woman said stop to me in Spanish and then i said why and she said something like you dont need anymore so i was like hd so i wrote something on the wall with it (wipe clean so its fine). Then we went back to the Festa (outside) and saw some of the old monitors and had some jokes with them trying to talk in Spanish and English combo (its so much easier to speak different languages when you are pissed :D) and i had some bites of something spicy and then we were sitting down at 5am waiting for everyone to meet up so we could start the mission and i was sick with my head inbetween my legs and Liam said it was really chilled out sicking. Then we walked to the train station to get to Taragonna haha and it felt like we were walking into the mountains and took a thousand years it was daylight and we were all still so pissed and then i woke up? (no memory of the train) and we were still at the train station but it was a different one and then half of the group went to the hostel but me Liam and Paul didnt get in the taxi. No. We went to get some SHOTS! so we bought some sweets from a supermaket which was really funny and then found a cafe where the man looked VERY dissaproving. I ordered three tequilas and he poured us THREE COFFEES: WRONG. How dare he? So we got whiskey in the end and left rapido. We then went in search of cocktails but Paul TRICKED me into saying the taxi would take us to cocktails when in fact it was taking us to the hostel to sleep. It took us to the wrong hostel and then we had to get to a different hostel but the group hadnt told us where they were so it was just missions.

We were standing outside talking drunkly about how we could possibly sneak into the hostel, when suddenly Catherine Wright came to the a window above us and was like WTF ?! so good that she did! anyway we just walked confidently in and went up to the room, the twin room, which now had 5 of us all in our underwear cos it was soooooooo hot (32 degrees at night) sprawled accross these two beds haha.

Woke up in PAIN. A lot of bruises. But went to the shopping centre and bought some treats and ate the most amaaaaazing all you can eat rainbow buffet which featured WATERMELON and CHICKPEAS and LENTILS and POTATOES and RADISHES and RED CABBAGE and BEETROOT and it was the best meal ever and afterwards (between four of us) we counted 8 empty plates, 5 bowls, and more. Then we filled takeaway boxes up with it and tried to leave but they busted us and were pissed off so i paid but the others had run away a little bit but it was fine cos we had it for dinner.

The sea was so good, so warm and the waves were really fun and the colour of the sea was blue and clear and SOOO salty that you can just float really easily :D

We went out for a well nice meal (outside) and i had grilled Salmon and we had loads of Sangria, then went to a bar and had irish coffees cos we needed to wake the fuck up after the death of the last night. Then we decided it was Liam´s birthday and all sang happy birthday and then went down to the Gay bars. OH MY GOD THE GAY BARS. 90% South American men standing around the edge hands on hips just LOOKing. SO weird. ALl the girls wearing nike draw string bags and one of them stood on my flip flop so it broke but luckily i could tie it together and the shots were all a euro and then me and Paul climbed up into a dancing CAGE and he just looked like a mental patient with a jumper hanging of his head and his eyes rolling back into his head! Liam started a fight haha but it was fine

Then everyone bailed and went to bed except me and Liam. We stayed in the bars for a while and then decided to leave and get a taxi to the hostel. A kind man offered us a lift in his car. I was like no no no we do not get into cars like this Liam but he was more drunk and i sensed it would be fine, so we did anyway and he had a dog in the car (called Luna) and the man started driving fucking OUT of Taragonna because he thought we had said HOTEL noria but we wanted HOSTEL noria so he was like QUE?! ¿QUE?! DONDE?¿! and we were like Mucho soz so finally got back to the hostel and i offered him money for his safe return of us to our quarters but he wouldnt accept. safe.

Today we beaaaaaaaaached it for ages and some of us have hilare tan and burn lines and we saw Catherine Nixon which was well good and had loads of sea time and ate a Grease sandwich for breakfast (and a watermelon slush puppy!) ice cream for lunch and Paella for din dins before getting the train back to Portaventura to meet the kids and go back to camp. THUNDER LIGHTENING RAIN AND AN ANT INFESTATION here at camp hahaaa. 3 of the girls in the room are dying their hair tonight!

Cant beleive how quickly that week just went, the whole 5 weeks in general actually. Less than a week left now!

So a big thankyou to the two special guest writers of late.

Brief update on last night´s shenanigans:

After we got back and had a secret whisky in the room, and avoided the party, we ended up eating ALL our sweets, ALL the Oreos (that aren´t even ours) ALL my bread that was meant for the week and then drank the reserve stash of Vodka. Si it´s now about 9pm-10. We then decided to ask the photographer man who gave us a lift back from town earlier on, if he would be so kind as to drive us BACK to Prades (just for 3 quick shots for bed) and then straight back to camp. We found him, asked him, and he AGREED. So, off we went, with Paul wearing my silly headwear from the Royal Ascot party like a hippy and I was pretty much in pjs. Liam looked fabulous as per. We ordered two straight up vodkas and then went to another bar and quickly had a shot of the 70% death stuff (BLEACH)which burns and twists your gullet and warms your cockles and stings your veins. Straight back to camp haha where we proceeded to "Dick our heads in" and sing and dance and put nuts in the bed and get told off by the secretary again.

Woke up in such a good mood hahaaa

Today is FRIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Class was a bit mental after break, one boy CRIED because he couldnt go to the toilet. Cruel to be kind, he needs to learn not to piss his faaackin self.

Off for the weekend in Léspluga and Tarragona. TOMA TOMA TOMA

Ghost writer: step forward Liam Johnson in his fancy red jumper expect lots of spelling mistakes

As of this moment me Paul and Jenna have a new friend to add on facebook and of course that means the whole world.
We got driven allllllllll the happy way to Prades and all the happy way back because Paul blagged a lift with the photohgrapher dude. 3 significant shots later and we were all skippy and happy aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand what more we all got paul hearts desire because all he wanted was to have three shots for three p and thats what we did! its the little things you acheive in life that make baaaaaaaaaaaaaare shit baaaaaaaaaaaaare nice i the motherfukcing house.
My friend just asked me on facebook if i want to go and see kelis perform in birmingham and I said yes because that will be jokes for months.
PERRITOS CALIENTES PRO FAVOR
everybody si being really drunk in the girsl room we are an embarrasemnt to the face of scoiety but a beauty to the world of the young and free remember that because thats a quote and s half!
this weekens will be the best days of our pathetic livvvvvvvvvvvvvvvves because we can all go and play with alcohol and cigarettes without adult supervision which means lots of sexy time for all involed if i do say so myself oh yes it will be one ot remember than you veyr much
there is water all over our bathroom floor yet the girls room is strangely dry if tis was a game of cluedo then it would be ok but life is not a game of cluedo and it never FAAAAAAAAAAAAACKING will be.
the pjhtotos on facebook are amazing and help to remind us why we are all put on gods green earth
WE LOVE PRADES WE LOVE THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE P AND ALL THE OTHER PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES AND THE MONITORS THEY ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL AND WELL THE TEACHERS DONT REALLY WASH THEIR FEET
what ewould Jesus say? i would know because I have go his sandals

over and out peace dudes
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ghost blog part deux

HOLA CHICAS

Once again the Jenna-blog is proud to introduce its special ghost writer Paul for a whimsical take on the happenstances of 3P.

Now that there is only a shell of 2P´s cool teaching staff (and our backs are against the mo-fo-ing wall) the mischievous side in everyone is starting to come out big style. As the magnanimous Jenna just pointed out, a recent soiree to Prades has ended in DEBAUCHERY. And CHRIST ITS ONLY 9PM!

At this moment Jenna is back in the staff room giving a powerpoint presentation on how she first got off without her BF. Big shout out to Sam if you´re reading this! Seriously, place a group of girls in the mountains for 5weeks and have ´one for the road´ and all they can think about is the men back home. Want to re-ignite the spark in your relationship? Send the missus to English Summer for 3 terms.

My thought of the day is that I could listen to someone speak in a Spanish accent forever.

Keep it real and keep it Jenna-blog,

Toma Toma,

Paul

RIGHT SO JUST GOT BACK FROM PRADES. steaming a bit. we went to get toothpaste and ended up two jugs of sangria down, i got an extra glass of wine and me and paul decided to get two shots of tequila FOR THE ROAD. we are meant to be in the party right now (viva las vegas)but that can wait cos we are not appropriate (and dont reeeeeeeally have to be there). Today was so jokes in class (hungover from last night) i taught clothes today. I took in a bag of select clothes of mine and it was so hilare seeing these boys aged 10 and 11 dressed in my bikini over their school tshirts and wearing my sunglasses and hoodie and another one in my playsuit hanging out the window and i was just laughing and the whole lesson was jokes and i got them to design couture clothing and they were pretty good and then the fucking school photographer came and we had to have school photos and i swear i was still drunk but whatevs and then yeah ARt this afternoon (proper happy about being allocated art this term as all the classes that are over like 7 are getting taught how to draw two different styles of graffiti with me) which is so much fun! and the baby ones just got to do paper dolls and shit.

oh my god should probably go and be part of this but like i said two shots of tequila down amongst the kids and also the sangria will be more than funny haaaaaa thinking of going out tonight too.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel (5 weeks in the same place) and its looking BRIGHT although kinda worried about how much stockhold syndrome we´ll have (two teachers visited us last night and we were like WHAT´S IT LIKE ON THE OUTSIIIIIIIIIIIIDE??????

HAHAAAA

ghost blogger

Greetings followers of Jenna,

This week on the Jenna-blog we have a special guest writer. His name is Paul and he is thres pay til he dies (mo-fo).

This week Jenna has mostly been (i) having ´one for the road´, (ii) rapping with her bestest friend Laim and (iii) generally being cool.

Today was the Royal Ascot party so everyone was expected to adorn their head (or heads) with the kind of head dress one would wear to an event like Royal Ascot (where one would address one as one). Instead Jenna is wearing something that looks like a prop from the music video for that song ´If you´re going to San Franscisco, be sure to wear flowers in your hair´.

Life in the Catalan mountains continues with an air of unreality. 3P is starting to look like more could be less as the deep conversations about nothing and simultaneously EVERYTHING contionue.

As blogs go Jenna´s is SMERT so contine to follow the posts.

Complaints about all grammatical and spell-tatical errors to the regular blog writer POR FAVOUR.

good night and good luck

Awwwww I love my class!!! Today we did transport and we played Chinese whispers and A blindfolded game and they had to find the board marker and they are so sweeet. Then after lunch I taught art to the second youngest class and taught them how to make paper doll chains and pattern chains and then they did self portraits which were SHIT but proper jokes haha. One girl (who has got hair down to her legs) gave me a massage randomly at the end of the class i was like Oh ok. At lunch I sat with my monitor group and one of the older girls told me she went to England and "my maazzar eat a cake made from knees" YUMMY haha

TIIIIIIME OOFFF today!! back in the sun which is nice AND the speakers work here now AND i got post ÄND the weekend looks set to be an adventure (off to a festa, planning to sleep on the beach the next day and then wander around tarragona in a group of 7 )the survivers from last term) the newbies seem a little hestitant to join our antics at the moment but whatever. Just booked my hostel for barcelona too which is called Graffiti and is covered. It´s really close to Sagrada Familia and is cheap as chips so TOMAR.

Just listening to Reincarnation by Camo and krooked. Big.

Highlight of the day was getting served CRISPS in a massive bowl for dinner as the vegetarian option.

Friday we had our end of dos P leaving ceremony and meal. It was quite hard to talk to the parents regarding the class from HELL. I guess it´s like giving a reference, you just sort of say yes they were there haha. No job offers this time but still a nice ceremony. We moved into our new rooms (which now has music and a food cupboard - TOMA) and went to the meal which was Lamb again and really fit fruity salads. The cook ensured we all got wasted again on white, red wine and cava and we were all playing the Coin game where if you get a coin in your drink you have to finish it etc.

We went to chutrex again, no dancing on the bar this time and Jack brothered me into going home because I´d "had too much" and so we got back and crashed and Dearbhla ended up getting with an afro donning monitor, Heather and Paul requested privacy and Liam appeared to be naked outside wrapped in a sheet. It was jokes. I cant remember most of it but the photos tell a hilare tale. I no longer have a camera charger (?) and the camera is broken still anyway, Dayum.

The next day was the saddest day here. We got woken up to say our goodbyes to 4 out of the 6 girls from our room who we were really close too after living literally on top of each other for a month. The family broke up. Tears were everywhere. We had 3 stages of goodbyes so the sadness was dragged out over the day, morning, afternoon and evening. I think it made me realise how much I miss other people in general as well and cabin fever kicked back in. I feel sorry for the people who are staying here for 10 weeks as it´s really not that big and options are pretty limited during periods of free time.

The new director and teachers arrived and we all got introduced and met all the monitors again last night, there´s only about half as much as the other two terms so there should be a lot more integration hopefully and we´ll be more involved with the partys and should become a bit closer to the children. Really wanted to be at devotion last night with Alison and Sam!

Today we greeted all the kids (standing outside the blocks for 3.5 hours while they arrive) all smiles and uniform eyeing the BMWs and diamond watches and have just been for lunch, before we invigilate the placement exams again. Gotta do the cheesey running in introduction too hahaha. This term my olympic team is Eagles and my monitor is Carolina who seems nice. She already knows I live with jack even though he´s no longer here, so it just shows how small this camp is.

Finished angels and demons the other day so am now reading the lollipop shoes which is coool. Found out today that we are 1000ft up in the mountains which is pretty cool.

The new D.O.S seems nice but more thorough than the previous one so i have a feeling the lessons will need to be planned more vigilantly but I guess that will make them run better in class, it´s good to have a comparison anyway.

So

got some green tea today (good times)

on the way to Prades on the second time we saw a figure(s) emerging from the hedge and it was a whistle and two dogs and we were shit scared (/as a group of 5 or 6) and we waited for the boys to catch up and even then we were scaaared cos it was pitch black and we could hear growling and see hardly anything

got to prades, drinks x 4 then oh lets get a taxi to XENON. JAck throws up in the taxi and all over Vic´s leg and everywhere and i say ´pussio! pussio! pusssioooo!´

the taxi man is like oh please clean and when we get to taxi is like oh wipe it please and then he spends most the night outside and inside it poo anyway cos only half the people who could have been there were there and then we stayed outside and i talked french and spanish and english to a girl and the others looked pissed then the next thing i know we are in the staff room? and Vic´s upset and oh no and oh.

I made a green tea with honey and it was a baaad idea after loads of alcohol so i sicked

Last night the teachers performed (rather well) our dance to Riverside. All dressed in black with UV face detail and body paint. It was short, sweet and pretty cool. The kids loved it anyway, even if we all sweated off most of the paint (the disco room is SO hot with the breath blood and sweat of 240 kids and 30 degrees outside)

Then we played mafia last night before bed which was funn and a good alternative to getting waste

Today has been so long. The first class would not listen, did not care and because we have the Oscars ceremony again tonight were really hyped for it and were talking loads about it and trying to present them with an hour and half on Past continuous was fucking difficile. The second lesson went better because I had the break to quickly adapt it to make it easier so that was better. During lunch me and Dearbhla (who´s my work partner) decided to collaborate our two classes (both as nightmarish as each other) to perform a Kaiser cheifs song which has really appropriate lyrics. We got the classes together in my classroom (which is huge) and they were like ´noeo´ and wouldnt be told and were super rebellious and Dearbhla threatened them in Spanish and I tried to play good cop and still it failed so we went with whatever they wanted to do in the end. They are now doing Replay (shawty´s like a melody in my head) which is pretty cool but the STRESS of 30 of them together all not listening was so draining.

After that we decided to design a tshirt for the teachers as a memory with everyones name on it and i was nominated to design it which was nice so did some graff thing but no one could decide a colour and it was more stress and I think everyones a bit snappy because we literally eat sleep work party and relax together.

Anyway at least the food was cool today (chickpeas and nuts and prunes and fruit) and We still have Toby the inflatable crocodile at the pool for jokes.

So tonight is the Oscars award ceremony, its interesting to see the children coming all dressed with their dates, will be fun to see who the girls and boys in my class go with. A girl who has been a bit problematic (quite spoilt and dippy) taught me a good font during geography yesterday which was cool and i drew peoples names in it and they all made super cool flags.

Don´t think we´re going out tonight as we need to save and wednesday and friday are usually big nights.

I love how little boys kill insects AND THEN KEEP THEM in pen lids or their pencil case haaa

Just got back from Salou! such a good day. SUCH A GOOD DAY!!!!!

The cava festival last night was mental, just literally a mass cava fight in the square! the locals were quite intimidating to begin with but then it was all good. Got super drunk and wandered home to wake up to Cat and Claire saying get up get up at 8am to go to Tarragona. So we got on the bus with all the kids still steaming and talking shit all the way there. Got to Salou and couldn´t find the train station and Heather was absolutely steaaaming and just randomly jumped over a fence so we couldnt get to her so we had to then jump over this really high fence which was hilare and painful and then we trekked into Salou which is really touristy and we were girls on tour and then we tried to find a bus to Tarragona and on the way found an amazing English diner like market diner and had a well good breakfast. Then we got the bus to Tarragona to go to the amazing shopping centre to buy all the things that we wanted to buy and when we got there half an hour later it was clooosed!! we were so gutted. Then we wandered round discovering that not a single shop was open so we found some ice cream shops and bought amaaaazing Rasperry and Mango sorbet and then we got a lovely train BACK to Salou because at least some shops were open there (even if they were super tacky) and we got a nice taxi and then we had a nice little shop and i bought some nice flip flips and some hair dye and some nice anklets and bracelets and then we bought a big bottle of WKD haha and then we went to the beach and THEN WE FOUND TOBY!!!!! toby is an amazing inflatable crocodile and he was the BEST thing. We had such a hilarious time in the sea with him (which was really warm) and we gave each other rides on him over the waves (the waves were SO GOOD) and then we tried to swim out to a lifeguard station in the sea which had slides and a diving board on it but werent allowed on and then we got some desporado and had that on the beach and some smirnoff ice and talked and had jokes and then we went back to portaventura to meet the others and my nose is sunburnt but it was SUCH A GOOD DAY!!!! yay

Hangover. Hahahaaa

Teaching is getting easier, although the teenagers are still a bit rebellious, i just have jokes with them so it´s fine. Also paying more attention to the ones who want to learn is really satisfying and just send the ones who dont listen to go get a spanish bollocking off the boss.

We went to Prades last night and the night before for drinks, Sangria is KILLER haha
we have got some bites on us today because we were lying on the floor for ages outside the club?

Tonight there is a CAVA festival, they replace all the water in the fountain with cava and apparently thousands of people come and its 15 euros entry for unlimited cava scooped from the fountain! it´s going to be messy. We have to be back by 6.30am because the kids are waking up to go to Portaventura at 7am and we´re getting a lift down to tarragona for some (probably still pissed) shopping and beach.

yesterday i saw a cloud.

All is good in the hood

how many cookies could a good cook cook if a good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.

Tonight was a hobby horse race followed by all the teams of the school attempting to say the above with a mouthful of water. Super jokes.

I will slice and you will dice and we will cut forever, oh what fun we would have shanking one another (they didnt say that bit)

This is the weather forecast:

monday 30 degrees. Sunny.
tuesday 30 degrees. Sunny
Wednesday 30 degrees. Sunny.

Blue skies every single day here, almost forgotten what clouds are, haven´t seen a drop of rain yet.

On sunday we greeted and received 240 new children. My new class are all a lot older, and less intelligent, so it is way harder. They are all kevin and pèrry in attitude and are not wanting to be here at all. I´m trying to adapt my old lessons i taught to the younger and more willing to learn kids to make them more cool. Did a lesson on transport today and introduced them to extreme pogo stick and got them to write ´dogs and sledges´on the board just for a personal win (freestylers reference)

Also how cool are pens that can rub out?!

quite a lot of negativity swimming about here and some people are pretty ill, the girl who sleeps under me is bad so fingers crossed we dont all get it. Heat plus kids plus cabin fever plus bad food doesnt need illness as a finality.

Such a sick job really though. Such an amazing place. Spanish people are quite dismissive in general I have observed, although really festive (there´s a cava festival going on next saturday).

Deciding to stay in a bit this week and conserve some euros although I could properly ruin a jug of sangria at the moment.

Other than that, we are practising a dance to be performed next tuesday. We´re doing Riverside, motherfucker, and it´s looking tight. Had a little jaunt into Prades yesterday and found a supermarket (corner shop - prades is like St. Just) and spent 16 euros on stuff like smoked salmon and artichoke hearts and pistachios and an avocado. YUMMM.

oh my god yeah Spain won the fucking world cup on sunday, that was crazy!!! such a shit game but the atmosphere here was intense and when they won, we had 240 painted children celebrating and all the adults and I got really into it and loved it so much.

Peaches

Last night we had the award ceremony for all the parents to watch. We had to sit in rows to the left of the stage and listen to all thankyous and present awards to the best in class and most improved. During the wait, whilst sat in front of all the parents, i felt a slight tickle under my foot so i looked. A WASP had got IN BETWEEN MY FOOT AND MY SANDLE. I had to remain calm and not make a sound. I flapped silently and removed the shoe and hoped it would go but it took its fucking time.

Then we had to mingle with the parents and discuss their children, it was really nice talking to the ones you´re a fan of, and the ones that were bad I just told their parents they were good. Self fulfilling prophecy and all that. I also got offered a job to come on a holiday with the family of the racist boy on a boat all expenses paid! I said no but its cool to know these sort of opportunites will arise with this sort of work. Dervla JUMPED at the idea.

Then we had our end of term meal. White wine, red wine, cava, lamb shanks, fruit salads, it was amazing. We all got ruined, the chef poured catherine a glass of cava and then made her down the whole glass and then I started throwing cake at people down the other end of the table and got told off. Jacksy arrived and got cake on his Fred Perry.

Then we went in the van to Prades and carried on the Ruin. Danced on the bar, walked home which took FOREVER. Jack gave Victoria a piggyback and they both fell over and cut their arm so she cried all the way home and said she hated him and it was hilare and then we got back to the Room and Kyla had gone to sleep in front of the sink and so i went to sleep upside down on a sofa somewhere and woke up not knowing where i was and Simon the boss tried it on with another girl, Kirsty who was really upset about it and had to go in a car with him for an hour today (cringe) We were cross with him this morning. She got Slimoned. We are going to make tshirts with a characature of his face on them saying ´que bestia´´he creeps while you sleep´

Today we went into Prades after a swim this morning which sorted us riiiggght aaaatt, on a death hangover to just get out of the camp, getting a bit cabin feverish sometimes. Found a massive pork sandwich and a coke and a bought a twister which just melted off the stick immediately. Came back and had loads more pool time. Me and Heather are trying to teach ourselves syncrhonised swimming but we are just red spluttering drowing dogs.

Meeting all the new monitors and new teachers tonight and then tomorrow it all starts again when the next lot of kids arrive!

Yesterday we walked into Prades, after Heather and I did our daily water aerobics, to watch the football (I´m getting really into it and REALLY want Spain to win now) and they won and it was all happy jokes so we got on the Sangria. Rapido. We ended up in the taxi to Poblet again to revisit ´Xenon´the ´club´ with the broken glass floor and podiums. We were all SO steaming and no one remembers and the photos are hilare and we had to jump the fence on the way home and simon (the boss) has lost his glasses and spent the whole day without them which was funny. Teaching was so hard today, the worst headache, and children are pretty noisy? you get. We got followed around by these two fat bogger men who were having a birthday.

The kids performed the very hungry caterpillar to the other classes and it was good and i was proud. They also sat their second exam and so we had to mark them, file all their reports, certificats, exams, photos and things ready to be collected tomorrow when the richass parents come and collet them and mingle with us talking about them. One girl in my class made me a card which was really touching but then Liam pointed out it had the word ´cunto´on it haha whatever.

Tonight the kids had a ´love night´where they all CRY. It is SO weird. The monitors somehow make them all cry by reminding them that theyre leaving and never going to see everyone again etc. It was pretty creepy. 220 wailing weeping sobbing children.

Other than that, Heather did a shit on her blanket. We are moving out tomorrow and then moving back in. Massive party tomorrow night to celebrate the end of the first term, it´s actually gone pretty quickly in relation to the first three or four days which were so long and hard. We have more time off in the afternoons now to chill so it´s good.

There is an Irish song going round that we sing when we are drunk´, it starts Íf i was a pretty barmaid (repeat) and I could marry the man I want (repeat) I would marry a builder (repeat) cos, he would nail and i would nail and we would nail together, oh what fun we would have, nailing one another´ ask for a rendition.

Today it is 30 degrees. So so so hot!

This job is hard, I have a love-hate relationship the kids...They can be so nice and sweet and rewarding (and claim to be into eminem), and then you give them a bit of freedom by not being a bitch at all and they just fully shit all over it and then a single command you say has no effect. I have never felt frustration or anger like this job?! I need to learn some discipline techniques and respect strategies, as we havent been taught from the boss really its kind of find out for yourself and role with it. Most staff here have done teaching before so know how to handle 14 hyper 11 year olds, but me no se.

Spoiled kids are silly as well. I have one nazi boy in my class who refuses to speak to me in English but is perfectly capable of understanding me and writing English, not only is he completely racist (obviously has stupid parents) but when he was drawing his house he asked me how to say ´lake´in english! (superloaded!) and always denies when the kids say he has hit them AND has a reaaaally sweet face?! So i dont want to tell him off because i kind of know its not his fault but where do you draw the line? nature-nurture debate again : A lot of my degree is applicaple and noticeable in the classroom, it´s interesting.

Also the president of Barcelona FC´s daughter drew me her bedroom and HOLYFUCK it is massive with ensuit and this and that and woah.


I am charging my MP3 player for a 4 hour hospitality session now because all the exams have been prepped again, all the school reports have been made, all the lessons are over for this term so we are free for the evening. Need some Netsky and Bcomplex time, so overdue.

We had the OSCARs last night, had to dress up posh and present awards to the kids with the monitors, it was rather formal and pretty American when Mr. and Miss Prades 2010 were announced (prom king and queen etc) its so funny seeing them all walking in with their dates at age 11 haha and all done up. jokes.

I think i am going for the intraveinous Sangria treatment tonight for some destress/memory loss. Had the option of going drinking in a field with the monitors last night but dropped out at the last moment because we had to pile into a small van and i didnt wanna be driven home drunk really.

Ok pool is waiting. Adios

Monday again!

MONDAY BLUES.

Sunday was epic. The biggest theme park in Europe!! we left at 8am, got back at 9pm and had a whole day of it. DRAGON KHAN is mental. 9 loop the loops and a whole lot of speed. LOVED IT. bonded with the kids and monitors a bit more too which was nice.

So tired on sunday evening though. Today, after 6.5 hours sleep we were all so much more tired than if we have zero! I could literally kill this morning. There is no ring in sick option. There is no oversleep option. The kids were all mental hyper after their day yesterday so were a nightmare in class, especially as I was attempting to teach them grammar: the past simple. Any way had a cool pool sesh today and then nice dinner then we had an AVATAR party!!! the male teachers dressed up as women and danced to it´s raining men, it was hilare.

Got lessons to plan now so keeping it short. Hopefully get trashed tonight. whooop x

End of the first week.

Ok so we have finised our first week (Properly got that friday feeling, haven´t had it since school!. Ahhhhh. The kids sat the exam which we designed for them yesterday, and I had to invigilate again, and then mark them all when they are complete. It is so rewarding seeing their progress. We also had to write their reports and give them percentages for their abilities in reading, speaking and writing. Haha some of the answers that the kids write are SO funny. My personal favourites (on the topic of feelings) are:

"I feel angry when I see a lot of food"

and

"I went outside. I smelt the beautiful perfume of the sunbathers and then I touched a dog."

The monitors put on a Las Vegas night last night which was fun, they painted themselves yellow and dressed up as the simpsons and beyonce and a basketball team. Their entertainment is so elaborate and impressive. The royal ascot night that we hosted was so poor in comparison. Food was burgers and sandwhiches.

I am so hungover again today, we walked into Prades last night and hit the sangriaaaa which was really nice. Played with a puppy too and then walked to the ´club´ to get on it. Everyone was well up for getting totally wasted to celebrate completing the week, it feels like we´ve been here SO much longer. The teachers are so cool, I love my family in my room. Safe. the Prades club was dead so we got a taxi at 3am (really spontaneously) to the club that we went to on wednesday which is an hours journey away. The taxi man got cross because I was standing up and dancing and you are not allowed.

Finaly got to the club and as soon as we got in their I stepped on some broken glass (wearing sandals) so had to drunkenly ask in Spanish for some help from the bar staff and nurse my bleeding foot and hold it over the sink and the locals were like get your hoof out of the sink. We were in the club for about half an hour and then it closed (5am at this point) So then we waited for TWO hours outside, with loads of random spanish people who i didnt like because the men are sleazy and we couldnt get a taxi and the BOSS was drunk and fucking GETTING with Victoria and everyone was like NOOOO haha she is SO cringing today but I made it better by referencing it as soon as they saw each other again.

Got back to the camp 20 minutes before the kids wake up (7.40am) and then chilled out by the pool all day after a breakfast of pasta and chips. Going for dinner in Prades later and then TOMORROW I AM GOING TO THE BIGGEST THEME PARK IN EUROPE! Port D´'ádventura!

That hangover was NOTHING compare to today. We went to a club about an hours drive away and it was more of a large shed than the shed in Prades, but still jokes. We were expected to dance on this podium in groups of three (all the music is stuff like shakira and beyonce) and we all got steaming and then woke up and it was time to be in the staff room (9.45am). shit. sunglasses on. sTINKINg of alcohol and trying to make a class of 12 kids who dont speak your language to complete their worksheets on interrogatives haa tough

had a well good well needed swim in the pool which was so relaxing today and then tonight we had to entertain the kids for the evening. Simon (the boss) split us into ´horses´and ´jockeys´ and we had to mount the horse and race the other horses and all the kids placed bets on the money that they had earned today but TALKING ENGLISH TO THE TEACHER. So, all day during break or lunch, there is a child in your face asking¨:

whaaaat is your fabourite feeelm?
whaaaat is your favourtie coolar?
Doooo you haff any brozers ou sistair?

finally sobered up about 4ish and had Spanish omlette for dinner which was good. The horse race thing was hilare, running through a woodland on my horse who was Liam who is so skinny and camp. He is the token gay and is a right laff. Some really jokes people here.

THE SIZE OF THE INSECTS. oh is that a bird? yeah look at that bird? oh. it´s a moth.

dunno about going out tonight. Probably not. Need some sleep, everyone has got mouth ulcers from the lack of sleep and excess of alcohol and lack of vitamins (iceburg salad every day and cake for breakfast)

PLAYED COWBOYS AND INDIANS TONIGHT WOOOO! it was really fun. the whole camp has been transformed into the wild wild west and we ate american food and played with guns?

All my lessons are planned until monday now, and the exam has been made so we are FREE in our time off now. Heading out to a nearby club in a different town tonight which should be fun, gonna have no sleep again (ended up going out last night) its jokes trying to teach with a hangover (and have school photos taken with all the kids).

Teaching interrogatives tomorrow and friday! BIG spiders in the rooms but heather is safe and puts them out for me, things are getting easier now, but I miss Sam.

First Class

So taught my first class today. The time. The first crew were absolute angels, they did all their work and made me some really nice clocks but it took way longer than i thought because they were shit at cutting out hands for the clocks so kept starting again and making sure they were realllly cool before sticking them on the clocks. It felt pretty cool teaching them stuff and having them ask loads of questions with genuine inquisition and awe on their faces. THEN, the SECOND class, who had just had a half an hour break and a different teacher so were properly hyped, were slightly different. I had a small male SHIT in my class who wouldnt sit on the chair, kept being told on by his classmates who had blatently cheated in his exam and was too thick for the class and I had to take a point away from him. They asked loads of questions as well 'doooooooooo you have a booooyfriiieeeend??' well sweet. It was pretty hard and after I was thinking, ewww neeewww 6 weeks of this, how the HELL will it be possible? then we did some rapid spead teaching where we all visited every class for 4 minutes and had to answer questions such as ´favourite song´, to which my answer was of course, ´turn up the music´(camo and krooked) AND ONE BOY WAS LIKE ÓH, TURN UP THE MUSIC´AND STARTED SINGING IT. Instant favourite. could not believe!!

Then we planned lessons, which takes forever because I am not a teacher and there was a thousand flies who keep landing on you and you are tired and really hungry because we have to go 6 hours between meals (which is still a plate of iceburg and tuna for the vegetarians) so we get proper hungry and pissy. But then dinner was really fit tonight and it was followed by a jokes production in the main hall where all the monitors dress up as TV hosts and make big posters of of Brand logos and pretend it´s live (with the brand logos being the advert breaks) and host olympic games for the kids (during the sack race the child from the naughty class decided to STRIKE the winner of the race) and two teachers dressed up as the Queen and Prince Harry which was funnny.

Not going into Prades tonight, we walked there last night for one drink (another triple measure) and the road is pitch black so we got creeped but talking about the wild vampire foxes and boars and wild hills have eyes people.

Feeling better about the teaching now as i stayed up late planning lessons for the next few days so I can have a fat break tomorrow and chill because it´s been non stop for the past two days.

Can´t wait for a kid to call me mum and be embarrassed haaaaaa

Hola! como estas?

All the kids came today. We met the parents from 10-1.30 in the SUN which was suppper hot!! haha the parents are SO loaded its unreall; there was a HUMMER that looked like it was part of film set and a thousand designer handbags swinging on the arms of the botox faced mums and big businessman dads. Hilare. Planned my first lesson yesterday, to be taught tomorrow, which was so hard because we were SO hungover and most people here are trained teachers so know loads of fun games to play with them etc so I was sweating and Blind because i still have fucking Pink eye, so look like a demon headmaster (great start) haa but everyone helped everyone.

We had to make posters about ourselves and decorate our classrooms, I feel like a real teacher having my own classroom! they gave me a class of 13 today and i had to invigilate their initial exam for an hour and stop them from cheating and they were really well behaved for me and the ones that finished early got a wordsearch to do and one girl finished her wordsearch too and then asked what to do so i said draw a picture and she looked at me as if i´d said "let´s set fire to your mum?". Played some tennis today and looooads of Irish snap last night, lost some skin on the hands haha it was brutal. Everyone is being bitten by things too.

We received our uniforms too yesterday which is cool and had to do an introduction thing where you RUN into the hall where all the kids are and wave and do a little dance, it was eurojokes. Going into the town again (mullet town) to get out of the camp and get a drink. Smells like coffee in the staffroom and there are teaching materials everywhere it´s so weird SUDDENLY being this teacher person. the food is pretty funny as well, i said i was a vegetarian and get the funniest things, like a plate of wet runnerbeans, i´m missing the daily humous and lemon juice and green teas and stuff but whatever. Spanish food is overall pretty damn fine.

So yeah teaching the first lesson tomorrow, first we´re playing two name games to get to know everyone and i´m introducing myself properly then i´m teaching them Time. I´m gonna teach them how to say ´thankyou´ aswell (safe) and ´hello´ (ére wasson/easy/yoyoyo) aaah the impending jokes are too many funny.

Got to go to the ´froggy disco´now which is on for an hour before we hit town. Peace out. Miss anyone who´s reading this! x

First Day in Spain

Flight was amazing, full of mad for it Brits off to spaaaiinnneee with the whole family. Netsky for the take-off win. Decided to sack off getting a taxi from the airport and get a bus because it was cheaper and ended up waiting for TWO hours but it was fiine in the end, was enjoying the sense of adventure, had no idea where my hostel was or how to get there because my spanish is NIL. Had a good sleep and left the hostel at midday and to be met by HEAT. Tried to get a green tea in a cafe but no, my level of spanish is still too amateur. Got a map and headed to the sea, stopped in an internet cafe on the way where a man was like "senora senora" and i was eventually like yes? and he was like "too many nice" so i smiled but refused him service and left and then saw him again and avoided. Then, went to find some food and ordered some FIT paella of clams and lingoustines and a starter and some wine all for 15 euros! it was so much food i couldnt finish it, even though the waiter wanted me to be "big and strong" haha. I say some wine, they gave me an ENTIRE bottle, they just left it there on the table, so i confirmed it was all for me, and, as it would be rude not to, consumed it ALL. Two hours before meeting my boss. Made it to the beach and swam with a merry smile and then crashed on the beach before rocking up at the meeting point with a sandy, red and winey presence.

Looong drive up to the camp which is properly in the mountains, it is so nice. Sharing a room with 5 safe girls which are jokes. Played some ice breakers and had dinner which was yum and then headed off to the nearby village for drinks. "Oh I´ll have a rum and coke please. OH." supermassive measures ha so rapidly we all got lean, then moved onto the ´club´which is a shed with a bar, it was pretty hilare, everyone got snap happy and then i decided to casually ask my BOSS "So where´s the token black?" which went down like a LEAD BALLOON. haaaa shit. Haven´t seen him yet today but will have to remind him that i have a really hilare sense of humour?

Off to the pool now for swims, yes theres a pool, tennis courts and all that jazz so should return a multi sport type. Que Bestia!